I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
