Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
