do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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