I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
