I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
