nut hugger
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
