Need sex. Gaining weight.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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