I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize