if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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