It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
