Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize