Say something about gay babies.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize