You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize