I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
