imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
