my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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