We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I understand Curling. That high.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
