You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
