we're making bets on your personal life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
