the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
