My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
