Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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