Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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