mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
