hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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