i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
