just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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