Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
