is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
