So drunk, too bad you don't want this
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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