maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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