oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
