Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
