If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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