this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize