Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
