Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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