He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize