i would punch a child for taco bell
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize