we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
