can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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