my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
