great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need to sanitize my soul.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
