we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
