I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
