he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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