I look better un-naked...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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