My hand turned me down
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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