There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
