why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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