i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize