i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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