this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
