before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
