I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
