chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
