this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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