i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
