what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
