I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
