Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
