You're so nebulous sometimes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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