So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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